So somehow I made it here. Uninjured. I'll give you a moment to scrape your jaws from the floors after my previous statement whilst you prepare yourselves for my first posting. Granted there are the literary genius' such as Mustafa, S. and Williams, C. posting blogs these days but i'm going to give it a go, just in case I die or something. Morbid I know, but given my track record i.e. recently, I fell down the stairs and popped my own dislocated toe back into place, this is not unlikely.
So the journey began at Liverpool airport with emotional goodbyes to Papa Ski, who took my picture on his phone as I went up the escalator causing some woman behind me to think he was filming her...HA. My laptop and I each went on a very personal examination by airport security staff, If i'd wanted an intimate breast exam I would have gone elsewhere. This woman was wayyy too overfriendly with me. Not amused. I told her before we started that it was the metal studs on my jeans that set the alarm off but she dismissed me and carried on. 15 minutes later and numerous boundary crossings later she anounnced that it was indeed the metal studs. I felt a "told you so," wouldn't have gotten me anywhere so I minced off with my massive rucksack looking like an overgrown turtle.
The flight. I don't know why but I always seem to attract the weirdest people. So enter Kermit and his girlfriend. Kermit and gf were two Spaniards returning home, I think, I didn't really want to converse after she hit my in the face with her elbow trying to turn on the air con. The first time I heard him speak I couldn't help but laugh. So much so that they turned to look at me in suprise and I had to pretend I was laughing at a certain page in the inflight magazine which to my luck was entitled "Things to do whilst cycling around Croatia." I saw Kermit glance at me with bemusment when he himself came to the page and did not find it amusing whatsoever. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse I heard the noises that I thought i'd left behind in the days of "The Wall" (ha sorry Liz) the kissing and the smooching. I felt I should say something witty to shut them up but I'm not sure PDA is a phrase that is regularly used in Spain. Karma hit Kermit, physically hit him when he was kissing gf's arm during a bout of unexpected turbulance and he hit his head on the tray table. Oh lol. Thankfully I was facing the window so I could smirk to my heart's content.
After leaving the plane I got the underground to Gran Via to my hostal which is conveniently opposite the touring performance of...Los Miserables. I kid you not. The hostal is pretty nice apart from the dragon on reception, although she did give me the passcode to the Internet so i'll refrain from bitching about her too much. The walls are so thin it's like being back in halls; I can hear Black Eyed Peas' Greatest Hits blasting through as some American girl asked her boyfriend, "have you seen my heels, you had them on last..." I didn't judge him when he said hello by the lift...which I later broke. I decided to venture out and went out into the big bad world of Madrid. I went to Sol where Larissa had fond memories of being pickpocketed and held my bag so tightely I got cramp in my fingers. After walking down the road I came across this amazing market which literally would be heaven for Charlotte Williams. There was so much seafood and champagne around I was like wow, pinch me. I didn't stay for long as it was beginning to get dark and the prostitutes were coming out on Gran Via. It sounds bad but they amuse me, one had a t-shirt on saying "London stole my heart," elegantly teemed with some cast off shoes from the Varannii bargain bucket. I moved swiftly on.
Back at the hostal, I was lucky enough to get to chat with Charlotte for 1 min 9 secs on Skype until her internet failed and then had the honour of conversing with Al, ma Pal, the Prawn of my fresh watered soul, who is a star. Also Nat, who is planning to take me on an all expenses paid trip to Harry Potter land ;) thanks Nat.
Tomorrow i'm hoping to venture out further and actually accomplish something, discover Spain's love affair with the mobile phone possibly even attempt to find housing...until then I continue searching for the perfect sized cardboard box.
